Melody's thoughts

Counting down the hours till I leave. I am going crazy here. I still need to pack a lot of things. ALSO Satan has decided to attack me physically already. I have been healthy all summer and now I have a head cold and my ears hurt. I don't think it is random. My neck swelling is almost normal but still a little ichy. I don't really know what caused it to swell up like it did I am thinking the malaria medicine. Which after I paid for it I was told I don't need it.......but it is so nasty tasting that I am going to stop taking it. Apparently there are a lot of people who can't swallow it because of the taste so it says to mix into sugar water......if I am forced to take it again there had better be lots of sugar around. Last time I took it I drank a liter of water and when there was no more water around I ran and brushed my teeth.
Well, those of my friends whom I am leaving I love you all don't miss me too much while I am gone. Kairsie I love you. Rachel I will see you on September 30th. I can't wait to go to Florida for real in September. I mean I am going to be in Florida for about an hour tomorrow. Wow I am starting to not know my days since we are leaving at 2 tomorrow morning.

O the joys of life. Life has been busy. I haven't gotten in trouble with police lately.....well only for speeding. I was going 45 in a 35 zone and next thing I knew there was a cop behind me with his lights on. But I went to pull over and he went by me!!! So, I am thinking more about what speed I am going because that scared the crap outa me. I don't have enough money to live let alone pay a speeding bill.
The other night I had Caiden. He is so flippin' cute. He was so good for me. He slept all night and didn't cry except when I left him with either my mom or Deanna for a couple minutes. I know a lot of people told me it would make me not wanna have a baby any time soon but it was so much fun. And for once I had someone I had to watch over and I forgot about my problems and started thinking if I should make a bottle or change his diaper. All in all it was a great experience that I would love to do again. (minus the braking the play pen.)
In conclusion money sucks. I am so close to leaving for Costa Rica (three more days!!!!) but so many problems have turned up. Money has been a BIG issue in my house the last couple weeks. And Jeff said last night we need to get two more meds or something and my mom told me I am paying for it and not a word to my dad. My dad is flippin out because he had to pay the shots and my passport, so now I have to pay my parents back over two hundred dollars and get this med. It is making me SO mad at them. They don't support me in this missions trip and it irritates me like crazy. Shouldn't they be happy I am trying to serve God? Why is it about them and why do they care so much I took off work for two weeks? I am still paying my bills (barely). My mom told me last night we will prob have to drop the cable because it is costing so much. Which I want it so bad because we can't get dial up with out a home phone. I wish I had enough money to keep it. Maybe it is a good thing we might have to say buh bye to the compy. I will lose connection without a lot of my friends. (Rachel, Kairsie, A.j, Isaiah.) I am trying to stay calm about this because I don't wanna give into the fights around me. I am trying to be happy when it seems impossible. I know God is by my side even when it doesn't seem like it. But I love my bro. I had a great night with him tonight and liked beating him up...........

So I was almost arrested for arson today.....let me explain. It was my first time to clean the church alone. I always had my mom with me. So I was vacuuming and the place was a mess. Dried grass everywhere and the vacuum broke for the THIRD time. I finally got it working and was playing music really loud so I didn't get scared in the big dark scary church. Next thing I know I hear a siren. I figured it was the one that I set off a lot but this one was louder. I soon realized it was the fire alarm. I went to turn it off but not knowing how I called Dennis. He said he would be over....no problems right? Well, I sit there with loud sirens going off all around me I look out the door and a police car pulls in. I walk out and talk to him saying I didn't do anything. Then two more police people come and then big fire trucks come! I had to tell all of them what happened that I was just vacuuming. After quite a adventure Dennis and Manny came and turned the sirens off and I went back to cleaning. Here the dust got into the air conditioning ducts and pushed the dust on the fire alarms and set it off......I don't think I will be cleaning by myself any more.

I have come to make a new post (rant). I am really starting to miss people. I went to a concert today and I wished so bad I had friends to start a mosh pit with. And all around I am missing people especially my girl Rach. I miss having people to rant to. I guess that's why I have God.
VBS went well and I loved my crew. They were six energetic girls. I felt it was really good. I was just going on my busy life and stuff starting to forget about God and when I would pray and stuff I would pray for God to get me ready for Costa Rica but it was cool because I realized that we have our own ministry here. I got to witness to some really awesome girls and help them. It felt nice because the first day I was learning their names and by Friday they all came up gave me a big huge and said they loved me. The one told me thanks for all my hard work for VBS.
Other then that life has been pretty hard. I hate fighting. I hate fights with friends and family. I hate being mad at people and I hate people being mad at me. I have had to deal with that a lot in the last couple weeks. I try so hard not to get mad or raise my voice, but sometimes it feels that is the only way to be heard. I really wish I could find about $40 bucks right now to buy a punching bag. That would save both the wall and my hand from hurt. I wish I could be a little kid again. They are so amusing and happy. Things go on around them and they don't care they can be happy no mater what. They don't worry about all the little things. I love kids.

I still don't know why there is a big space but please bare with me. Blogger is being dumb.
VBS this week is going good. I am a crew leader and my kids are wonderful. It is cool to get them talking and hear what they are learning about God. Although going every morning to do VBS then going back at night to set up again is starting to wear me down. I am getting sick...blah. All I want to do is sleep but that won't happen.
I read this book called Dateable it was amazingly pretty good. I normally hate all those dating books but this one I could stand. I would say any one under 18 should read it. If you are over 18 there are other books for you. I have been doing lots of reading lately and reading interesting books. I love going to Ollies and buying books mad cheap there. Well, Thanks to Kairsie I am updating a lot more because that is the only way to let her know whats up. HELLO KAIRBEAR!

So a couple min ago I chased a real live fox. It was weird staring a fox down. But he was after my kitty and I can't have that. So, I had to intervene. ANYHOW Life is uhhh I don't know. I felt powerful today though because I wrote a check for a hundred dollars and signed it....too bad I was the one giving the money. It was for a plane ticket to Florida some day I will pay for the plane ticket back. I leave September 30th.
Esh's meadow church picnic thing was yesterday which is always a blast and we had nice weather for it. I slept over there this year. That was interesting getting there at 3 in the morning and having Josh set up a tent for a couple hours.
My brain has stop working so I am leaving.

I am updating for my Kairsie. I went to community days on Tuesday and won two gold fish for my mommy.
Life has been pretty blah this week. Going through my normal activity's but not feeling too happy. There has been a lot of tension in my house and I wish I could go back packing like Jaron. I guess I will have to manage and remember the Bible verse that says to be cheerful no matter what, but sometimes it is hard to be happy.
VBS next week. I don't know what I am doing yet I think I will be helping my mom with skits and stuff. Should be fun.
Then in two weeks I have Caiden for a week. I am still trying to talk Jaron into babysitting for an hour. He says he'll kill Caiden. I think it will be fun to have him though. It also counts as school! Because my mom was going to get one of those dumb plastic babys that they have in schools, but I get a real baby for a week. So much better.
Here ends my post. I miss Kairsie, Rachel F, and Rachel H.

() smoked a cigar
( ) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) stolen a car
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) slept with more than 15 people
(x) been called a slut
( ) had a one night stand
( ) slept with someone you don't even know their name
( ) seen someone die
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) gone on a blind date
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
(x) been moshing at a concert
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
() been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
() written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
() watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
(x ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller skating
(x ) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
() screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you love them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish...
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
(x) stayed up all night
(x) didn't take a shower for a week
(x...I picked a peach close enough) picked and ate an apple
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x I wore my pjs to class all the time.) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(What the heck is that?) played nicky nicky 9 doors
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x does a nose count? ) broken a bone
(xxx) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someone's hair
() gone skinny dipping

Yay for fast computers. I have had cable internet for awhile and it wasn't much faster then dial up, but now my daddy bought new memory and the computer rocks like mad. We also hooked up another computer. So no more fighting over computers because we have two. I am on the slower one but it is the only one that has AIM and is now turning into the "kids" computer. ANYHOW I lost my one job today. NO I didn't get fired. Family issues happened and they didn't need me to drive Britt around. She was a cute girl too. I am having a hard time with it, not because I want the money (it would be nice though) but because I was dumb and never got a chance to witness to her. I feel like a moron because I had so much time and I don't know if I will ever see her again. I guess that will make me share more? Or am I bound to screw up again?

Other then that life is pretty good. Kairsie is living with me a couple more days then going to Massachuttes. It is the first of July which is exciting. I am leaving for Costa Rica in 26 days! And this month is packed between VBS at Zion and having Caiden for a week then Costa Rica. It should be fun.

For those who didn't know my car is mostly fixed. The garage should be fine. The car drove itself into the house. The emergency brake broke and it went into the house. Kinda fun if you didn't have to pay for it to be fixed. Well, I am going to go now.