Melody's thoughts

Okay I have been in a lot of pain in the last two weeks. So finally my mom made me call the chiropractor and I went today. I told him where it hurt and he checked it out. To both our surprise it was pretty bad. Here my rib came out of the socket in the back!!!! Dang it killed. Then I knew what was coming, "Well, go on your stomach I have to pop the rib back in." Words I never wanna hear again. That hurt SOOO bad. I am glad it is over now and have to ice my back every night for twenty min for the next week. *tear*

Well, I need your prayers coming up. I have a interview on Tuesday for STAT. I am so excited and scared. Please pray God gives me the words to say. =) This is my first big interview. YAY I know it will work out.

I don't know where my life is going or where it is headed. It scares me to think that June 11th I am outa the house. People say it is nothing because I am only going three months but they don't know what I face when I come back. No money, no car, no job, no house. I have put my faith in Christ that when I come back it will be there. Maybe a house will open up for free till I have enough money to get back on my feet. I don't really know. Dare I say I am scared, but am going on the comfort I find in Christ. God will work everything out alright. But guys I am graduating this year! I want to do something awesome with my life. I don't want to regret any choices I make now.

There is a part of me I dare not tell you. Everything seems okay and then it comes back. Will this ever go away? Why can't I make myself tell anyone? If only this pain would die down. It has been years.

Hung out with Justin, Brook, and Jeremiah last night. It was a lot of great fun. They are awesome. It is weird though because I am so much older and really feel like I am leading them. I love them all so much and want to watch out for them. Well, I have to work all day today and will be late for youth group. I hate that this work thing is braking into my sleeping and having fun actions.=)-

I was reading Jeff's post about parents. I try to be an obedient child. I know they have done a lot for me. But then lately I have been having trouble with this. I don't do anything but am getting yelled at. Maybe I am growing out of my teen years already because the issues I deal with are car, money, and housing in a couple months. I'm not fighting about what I can wear or who I can hang out with. I am fighting about being able to survive as a 17 year old paying and thinking about everything. I know both their parents were poor and they didn't have much but they shouldn't push me out early with Jaron still living here at 19. They say I am more mature and can handle it better.....Does that mean you push me out? I am tired of endless days of crying. Am I rebelling if I stand up?

"You've got a disease that there is no known cure for. We have run the appropriate test and found alarming conclusions. This is a very troubling circumstance. But what is more troubling is how you developed this condition. It seems that due to constant exposure to the dangerous realities around you, this extremely rare virus has infected you. I am afraid there is no known cure. On top of this, the disease is extremely contagious as well." Perplexed as usual, I had to ask, "What is the disease?" The answer: "An unyielding hunger for the truth, a passion for the people around you, a sorrow for those who still lie in darkness. To put it plainly, you have a heart. We must amputate immediately."

Okay I have to go BACK to Immix AGAIN!!! Okay so Sat night my phone turned off by itself and decided it wouldn't turn back on. So Sunday I went to Immix to send it back and I forgot the recite. Went home got it and went back. I got this loaner phone and was happy, till my mom called me and I realized the phone wouldn't ring. So today I took the loaner phone back and they couldn't get it to ring either so I got a different phone. I was happy and went home, now I realized that I don't have a charger for this kind of phone. Craziness. I just want a phone for the next month while mine is being repaired.

So, I was reading A.j's post about Jaron. Well, they seem to know where their lives are going. While I am only a year younger then A.j and still clueless but loving it. I know where God is leading me in the next couple months. I don't know if there is a guy in it. I mean don't get me wrong I like Brook and about everyone knows that. (he is going to kill me for posting this.) But going away will be hard but I can't not do God's will because of a stupid guy, and thats where I stand.

Well, I just received my info for EMM. I am so excited. They gave me these papers to fill out and get all my stuff in within the next two weeks. Then I have an interview and hopefully placement. God is good! I should be leaving June 11th they say. That's one week after I graduate. Please keep me in your prayers. This is still a big step and a leap financially, but God is good and my parents are finally supporting me in missions.=)

You thought I was so strong. Well, I cracked today. Everything built on me. The joy of life, and the pain of everything hidden that has been going on. People say they are there to talk to or call, but I don't want to call. I want to be a friend who can just say when something is up like it is nothing big. I don't expect any one to go out of their way for me. I don't know what I am feeling right now. I need to be up in a couple hours but can't sleep because I am learning too much. I am in deep thought of everything. And I cracked. For those who don't know me I never let myself cry. My eyes have gotten teary and I would make it stop and tell myself to be strong. But I am realizing I can be strong but yet I can feel...... Tonight I let myself shed a tear. I don't know what it really was, The yelling in the house with my parents, The talk with my mom, The love I see in a man's eyes for his unborn child, the pain I have for those who don't know Christ, or the problems that are haunting me from my childhood. I don't know, but God is good. Sometimes being happy isn't having everything perfect it is the joy in knowing things will never be perfect but yet enjoying life and making the most of it.

Pillsbury Doughboy's Death
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Good time in Florida, I spoiled myself to an extent. Are Americans really that hard though? I went to this church called church in the sun. It was an okay church but hello online giving for a bigger building to get more people in? Okay a five story parking garage? Drive 15 minutes down the street and people are living in worn down trailers and have broken down cars. Talk to them and church is crap, I can see why. Building a bigger church when these people really want love not a big building to get lost in.

I also had trouble at Disney because I saw so many people that I could witness to. I was on a boat ride and got to talk to this one lady who had a little baby. I got to play with the baby and talk to her a little. But there were so many people and I wanted to share God with them. Do other Christians feel the same way or is it me? Why can't we open our eyes and let our hearts brake for those who need God. We only want more, bigger church's and stuff.

Still didn't get a call from EMM. I am trusting God that he will use me how he wants. I really hope I get on a STAT team though. I was talking to Rachel who has never been on a missions trip except once to Philly she said she doesn't feel called to missions. I understand it isn't for everyone. But if you never tried it you can't say no. I have changed unbelievable this summer. I thought I was a home girl but now feel called to go out. Before I would never just start talking to someone now I look forward to it. God has been really changing me.