Melody's thoughts

Well, I gave my testimony. I don't know how well it went. The whole time I was up there I wasn't really thinking about my mouth moving I was thinking, "I really don't want to do this."
After I was done I went to prayer groups and just felt Satan's attacks so hard, I felt this shame and started crying. I know God is good though, and I shouldn't believe Satan's lies.

I have a praise! This morning my boss came in and his words were, "I need to talk to you." I started freakin' out thinking I didn't do something right. Here he is giving me Christmas Eve off! But the best part is he is shutting down the whole store just so I can get off! I am so happy! My boss rocks my socks. O, and after he said I did a great job working and I am making the place look really nice. I really like my job and know God has me where he wants me.

Another thing God has been showing me is religion vs. relationship. So there is this guy, and he likes me a lot, but he knows I won't go out with him because he isn't a Christian. He has been saying how he use to go to churches and his dad said they are this and blah blah. I keep trying to explain it is so much more then that, it is passion to get to know God on a deep relationship level. So he said he would come to youth group when he has off.

I am on worship team now! I am so happy, I love worshiping God in djemba.

I have another praise, money! I was so short on money my whole life and I finally am having money again. I still have to pay for Scotland but it has been coming in. My dad has also been staying out of my account. I just have to hand in my $975 for insurance for a year, which is due by the 31s and get my car inspected. God willing my car won't need tons of work for inspection. O, yeah my car really isn't running right now, well it is, but isn't, it randomly just dies. I'll get it fixed soon, right now I really don't need it, my work is only two miles away.

Nahum 1:7 "God is good!"

This morning I finally went through old journals to see if there was anything I wanted to share during my testimony. Nothing really stuck out at me to speak about but it was really cool to realize the slow growth I have had. There were times where I seemed "stuck" in my faith and then there were entries where I was being taught so much.
These past couple months have been one long big growth (not like the one coming out of my toe.). I guess I am willing to share a lot during my testimony. I just have been growing so much that I want others to grow with me. I have had a lot of trouble lately but that is how I have grown. I thank God for all he has been putting me through. I thank God for surrounding me with friends.
The other night I went out with my STAT friends which was a lot of fun to see each other again. God really spoke there because everyone else had either gotten back into school or had a good full time job. While I was still getting back into the culture and ready to leave again.
I found so much in my journals that made me really think. Like when I was about 14 I wrote about just having passion for people. How I can go places and see people and just burn with compassion.
Sometimes I wonder why I always see the good in people though. I know it can be a good thing but it has gotten me into a lot of trouble lately. I can meet a nice person and see so much and try and witness and it tends to come off as flirting, or so I hear.
Sorry about this post it is really me just typing as I think.
I'm trying not to announce that I am going back into missions if I don't know yet. I really enjoy my job and deff want to stay there till I have at least a little money in the bank. Right now I am in debt. I still owe my brother a lot from Scotland.
Well, I am off to Bible study. Which I love my new small group! They are awesome! I am going to the journey every other Tuesday night.

So, I'm not better. Please don't think I have to be this awesome spiritual person who never doubts and never has troubles just because I am president at youth group and because I am a prayer group leader. I hurt, I feel, and I learn. It is just I tend to be more outgoing. God has been so good and I really want to share him.
The past three months of my life has been crazy with so many ups and downs. Now since I made it through with God's help I want to show how God has strengthened me.
I am sharing at youth group December 17th. If you want to hear me talk. This will be my first time in all four years of going to ZMYG that I have ever spoke. I am sorta scared to open myself up like this, but I am not ashamed anymore. God has been doing too much to keep it hidden.
Life is still really hard. Sometimes I just want to run away to where I feel safe, but I need to just spread my wings and fly.
Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you."
So dare to be different! Let God challenge you! He has so much more in store for you then you know. But don't expect it to be really easy.
I love my youth group, I love my youth leaders, I love my mad awesome friends!