<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Not every phone call has to end in 'I love you' and not every goodbye has to end with a kiss.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

and it sinks in 



Last night I was at youth group and it was so amazing! God was moving in such drastic ways. During the worship time I sat down against the wall and was praying and looked over to see a map of the world. I started praying for my outreach and that is when it started really sinking in. I was almost crying when realizing I only have one more month with my brother till he leaves and I leave. I only have two months left with my friends, only six more weeks of work and so many more lives I need to touch.




Now I know God has so much in store, but it is hard leaving somethings left "undone". My best friend from work said today, "It doesn't matter what I do or say anymore because no matter what I am already destined for hell." And I just wanted to hug her and say "NO!!" I am really having trouble because there are so many people that I have been witnessing to and I don't want to just up and leave them. But at the same time I have this nudge on my heart when I read about missions. I have this love for everything about missions even if it is getting up at 5am everyday just to go to work and be sharing Christ there.




Well, on a side note I took back my chocolate phone today. =( I had a thirty day trial with it and now I am done. I have a really nice phone though. See! Isn't it pretty? And it has all the features as the chocolate phone did. And now I don't have to have the same phone as everyone else did. O the joy of freedom!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Ready for this? 

Wow I leave tomorrow for the cabin and am so excited! I have been working way too much. I worked nine days straight had one off and am working seven more. But I need the money since my car broke down. :(

Canada is coming up soon! I cannot wait! There are so many awesome people going.

I cannot to see Rachel! Only a couple more weeks!

So I haven't been at church in awhile. I just hate the sitting by myself and feeling judged every time I go. I honestly think it is quite boring at church. I am sick of the Christians telling me I should still go and try and get something out of it. The only thing I have been getting out of it is so much pain that I have done a lot of dumb things. Why is it that the church has caused me to stumble so much? Every time I walk through those doors I end up hurting inside that I have to walk out, I get into my car do a big burn out and drive away crying. I seriously can't take it anymore. The place where I am suppose to feel loved and accepted I feel condemned and rejected.

I love God really I do. I really miss my close Christian friends that I could pray with and talk to. It makes me sad that it has been almost two weeks since I really prayed hard with another good believer. I use to get that a couple times a week where I would just pray intensely with another Christian.

I got a new phone! It is one of those Chocolate ones. It is pretty sweet. It is hard to use though. I push stuff I don't mean to.

This post is dedicated to Hannah!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?